♢Chp.1 -Something you forgot- ♢prolog

▪NIGHTMARE▪

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What if, we are living in lies?

We play,cheer,and laugh as if this life is a perfect playground.

But what if, it was the other way around?

There's warth and betray behind the word"play"

There's tears behind the word "cheer"

There's scream,fear,confusion behind the word "laugh"

But you couldn't hear nor see it. Because you are blind with the happiness.

I, myself cannot handle it anymore. I've been trying to be happy as if nothing bad acctually happended. Even if I hear thoose scream, I just want to ignore it. But the more I ignoring it, the louder the scream gets and the more those screams became a calling for me. A desperate calling that needs my help? But what can I do? I don't know anything.

I don't even know my past of who I was, who am I supposed to be. I can't even remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago. I cannot understand myself, how am I supposed to understand them? How am I supposed to help them if I don't know anything about the source of those scream?

And heck, I don't even know what I am doing everyday. I move my body but I don't know why I am still moving. Everyday I feel like in a show, where I watch my body do the work and talk in my life, but my mind doesn't know what's going on nor what's about to happen, what or when will be the *End*?   I feel like a stupid puppet. There's always puppeter who holds and know the puppet. And again, I just couldn't see them.

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And just like now I am running. I don't know why I'm running, I just... run. I'm not chased by somebody, but I'm chasing somebody. But who? And again I just let my body do the work. I just let my feet run towards crowds of screaming people. But gladly, this isn't the scream that I used to hear, because it was way horrible than these sound. Those people looked so scared. Scared of what? Is there anything that should be scared of that causing this screams?

Despite all of this, I still running to go inside a building that looks like a school. I stomp my feet to the stairs one by one going up. I almost fall but I manage to keep going. And finally I made it to the top of the building. The plain roof of the building. There you can see where the fans runs with the backround of a cloudy evening. *PTARRR!* I hear lightning sound infront of me and behind me. The clouds start to cry very hard. And theres the "somebody" I've been chasing. He is a boy probably 3 years old older than me.

He stand at the end of the roof top of the building. His head was looking down towards to the people who's trying to escape that building. He has this beautifull golden curly hair that been wet because of the tears of the clouds.With skinny and tall body, he wears a school uniform that looked like the uniform I am wearing now. One by one he lift his feet into the platform. Seeing this, my mouth scream"STOP!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS! YOU CAN'T DIE!! You.. can't.. leave me.." I don't know why am I yelling, but this scream make my throats hurt. There's a pain inside my chest that I couldnt explain, make me want to cry somehow.

Then He looked at me and say "You're right, I can't die. Because everything will be start all over again RIGHT??! I CAN'T DIE", he was silent for a while.. then he smiles and continue,"please remember this moment.. I just can't handle this anymore"

His voice give me De Ja vu, I'm trying to remember who is that voice belongs to. I couldn't manage to see his face as all I see is his smiles saying his last words. Then he push his entire body down to the ground. I ran towards him to grab him but I'm to late. His body already flying down to the ground and fall. His body like a broken  vase that spoil all his blood on the ground. The cloud's tears and the screams are getting louder. Those things are sharp like a knife stabbing my ears. 

*Drip drip* tears are also start droping from my eyes. I can't understand. Why am I crying? Is it because of that boy's death? If I don't know him.. why am I supposed to feel bad for him? I don't want to waste my tears on some stranger I don't know. For me, these tears supposed to be used on someone else.

Someone that I love.. is he acctually somebody that I know? That I love? 

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Sh*t I can't remember any damn thing!

These f**kinng tears won't stop either! I hate feeling this way! And things got more worse with the sky turns red and then cracking like a broken glass. At first I thought it was my eror eyes that saw the sky crack. But the truth, the sky is litteraly broken.

The cracks create a loud voice that make everything go silent in my head. This give me pain to my head. It made me hard to se anything, as all I see is the world start to swolen up like a swirl image. Then, I see ocean of hands reaching me.

And there's this screams again, and its calling my name loudly "LOTTE!LOTTE!LOTTEE!!!!" Screeaaaccsss start to FILL MY ENTIRE EARS. I CAN'T HEAAARR ANYTHING THAN THIS SCREAAMSSS!!! IT MADE ME SO DEPRESSED!! I COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING THAN HANDS THAT TRYING TO REACH ME!!!PLEASE MAKE IT STOOOOOOOPPPP!!!!! 

I beg on my knees to stop this.. BUT IT JUST MAKE IT WORSE!! And those scream start to say different things.

"LOTTE!! WHY DO YOU FORGOT LOTTE?!!"

"FRANCISS!!THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"

"JANNICE!!YOU MUST STOP THIS!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU WILONA!!!"

"LOTTE SAVE US!!!"

Those screams calling me in different NAMES! "I'M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM!!! PLEASE STOP!!" I yelled at them. But they wont listen, and they scream even louder than before. I'm trying to manage to look at who screaming at me, but it was to blur to see anything.

Ugh... nobody stop..nobody wants to LISTEN.... NOBODY STOP!!

MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOOPPP! MAAKEE IT STOOOOPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

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Then everything went quiet and dark. For the first time in my life, I feel so peacefull. My body float in the ocean of this darkness. I want to stay like this forever.

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If I'm not wrong, I think I see a shilouette of a girl? But beside her...

There's this little light. I think I remember people used to say that if you die, you will float in the darkness and then you will see a light that you must follow. 

Does this mean I'm dead? I'm glad.. that I'm dead

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Then I hapily followed towards that light. It make me feel happy that I'm finally dead. That's mean I'm free from all the suffer right?

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Then I woke up in this bedroom.

What a bummer, I'm still alive..

It was all just a dream.

It was all a nightmare.

A terrifying Nightmare.

Weirdly, I couldn't remember who am I and all about my life. Just like a newborm baby. A newborn baby that forgot how to cry...

What acctually happened in that weird dream of mine?